


I'm Lost and I'm Found

by NiceCoasters



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 16:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiceCoasters/pseuds/NiceCoasters
Summary: The Samwell Unincorporated Detective Agency has been warned that a reckless witch with a stolen familiar and an old cornhusk broom is headed their way. Bitty wonders why he started listening to a talking rabbit in the first place.





	

Bitty's family always knew a little bit of magic. They didn't quite consider themselves part of the masquerade, but they were in on the joke. Things baked a little faster, chores went a little smoother, and on dark, moonless nights the Bittles and Phelps met up to glide across the sky on their brooms. Bitty knew about keeping secrets, listening at the edge of the woods, the electric buzz of things more powerful that sometimes passed through. More powerful than witches too busy with normal living to form a proper coven anyway.

Bitty sometimes daydreamed about the other creatures out there, the ones he could feel but never see. They were just passing fancies, like meeting Beyoncé, until he saw a bloodied rabbit in the middle of the road and it started yelling at him in Spanish.

**********

While their receptionist was overseas dealing with an international policy dispute the members of Samwell Unincorporated Detective Agency were taking turns covering the phone. Jack had tried to take over completely, but Holster insisted they were all perfectly capable of taking notes on a brief phone call, and Ransom brought up the point that Jack could not be at the desk and in the field simultaneously. He had compromised and made templates. It mostly worked out.

Except Shitty had just gotten off the phone and was waving a blank template around and practically interrupting himself in his rush to explain. Dandelions sprouted excitedly from his mustache, Jack managed to get a word in edgewise while Shitty spluttered on them.

"How does a witch even steal a familiar? Wouldn't it just run back to it's owner?" 

"I don't know man, witches are... But he's also got Hunters on his tail and... Oh, and he may be connected to the Atlantic Grimoire Theif, though that's just a hunch, and..."

"Shitty!" Jack growled, "One thing at a time! Who called?"

"Someone from the East Coast Council, Shirley, I think? You remember, that siren who..."

Jack didn't wait for more flowers this time, "What did she want us to do?"

"Keep an eye out for this witch, teenage boy, blond, kinda thin, traveling with a small brown rabbit que habla Español. The guy's aura is negligible, but the rabbit's has a unique signature, which is how we know that it is def not his familiar."

"And how the Hunter's are tracking him, but why would they be?" Jack grabbed a notebook from a nearby shelf and started jotting things down.

"Bro, I've heard of Hunters levelling forests to get at a single wood nymph, they probably think he's an easy target," Shitty shrugged, a wilting petunia falling off his shoulder.

"Except," Shitty perked up, "He keeps giving them the slip! They first noticed him moving through Georgia when covens started complaining about an outside witch trespassing in their area, so he's gotta be doing something right,"

"So," Jack paused his writing, "He's smart enough to avoid people who have trained their entire lives to kill people like him, but he's dumb enough to not cover up the tracks of his aura?"

Shitty shrugged again, "Maybe he's got a plan or something. That's why you're are head detective, man. Call me if you need a stakeout."

***********

Less than five miles away Bitty was also wondering if he had a plan, or more preferably, if Señor Bun had a plan.

"What should we do?" He whispered to the rabbit cradled in his arms.

"We stay quiet and hope they get tired of looking," the rabbit whispered back.

"Do you really think they'll give up?" He asked, hope leaking through the exhaustion in his voice. They'd been running from these same men for days, and Señor Bun for days before he had enlisted Bitty's help. The men seemed tireless and it was only luck and some of Bitty's fancy flying that had kept them safe, but now his broom was broken and they were stuck up a tree hoping the sparse Spring leaves would provide some cover.

"No," Señor Bun rolled his eyes, "Personally I'm hoping a hawk offers me a quick death before they catch us,"

"Shhh," Bitty hissed and looked down. It sounded like something was approaching their tree.

A second later a figure appeared, broad shouldered and bearded like the men who had been hunting him. He willed him to just be a hiker, to go away, to not look up, for himself to have more than a tiny teaspoon of magic, so willing might actually do something. The man looked up.

"There you are little witch," He smiled, and let out a long whistle, "Stuck up a tree without your broom, huh? Why don't you climb on down and we can finally end this whole..."

The man's attempt at persuasion was cut short by a grey blur. It took Bitty a moment to see that the man was on the ground with a wolf standing over him. The man was still.

"Stay there!" Snapped the wolf, "Help's on the way!"

"Should we?" Bitty asked Señor Bun, watching the wolf run off into the woods.

"Do we have a choice?" There was a scream not far off, "A werewolf should he friendlier than hunters, anyway,"

"How about a dryad?" Said a voice by Bitty's ear. He screamed in response.

"Whoa! Sorry, brah! Should've thought that through better,"

"How did you get up here?" Bitty asked, because it may have been the least important thing right now, but it was the most immediate.

"Trees are kinda my thing, asked her for a lift," The man, with a chestnut man interspersed with wildflowers, pointed to the tree trunk, "So, you want to get down?"

"Yes, please!" Señor Bun chimed in, "Go with the nice dryad, Bitty," he continued when Bitty stayed still.

Bitty sighed and took the "nice dryad's" hand.

*******

It took Jack an infuriatingly long time to track down the last Hunter. He'd lost the element of surprise he had with the first two, and the man had bolted. Hunters were trained to fool a wolf's nose, but Jack was also trained to fool the Hunters, and things reached their inevitable end. After calling the local council to report his kills and request clean up Jack went back to the sagging residential building they called headquarters. He hoped, even expected, that Shitty would be interviewing the suspect witch in the lobby, but when he entered it was empty and voices were coming from the kitchen.

Jack slouched in, wishing that his steps could be louder, and saw the witch rolling out something on the counter and smiling nervously at the rest of their agency. Jack took a deep breath and tried to start the conversation with a reasonable question.

"What is the suspect doing in the kitchen?" The witch and rabbit startled. Jack realized he could have tried sounding less hostile.

"Making pie," Holster provided, food spilling out of his maw.

"Aaaand, not a suspect!" Shitty added, "The familiar explained the whole thing. Hunters kidnapped his witch and he escaped. He's been trying to notify the council, but those dudes kept going after him. He ran into Bitty down in Georgia, who kindly offered an escort," Shitty grabbed Jack's arm with one hand and Bitty's with the other, pulling them into each other's space, "There, now we're all friends!"

Bitty looked up, smiling, and offered his hand, Jack took it firmly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, you can call me Bitty,"

"Jack," He said, and let go. He started to back up and go somewhere less... whatever was happening here than this, but Shitty slung an arm around his shoulder.

"This beautiful fucker," He said to Bitty, "Is the one that took out that unfortunate fuck and saved your life."

It seemed like it took Bitty a moment to translate from Shitty to English, then his eyes went wide, "Oh! The giant wolf was you! Thank you so much! I baked a pie to..." Bitty looked over to see Ransom licking the last crumbs out of a pie tin, "Well, there's more on the way, I just can't thank you enough,"

"It was nothing," Jack rolled his shoulder out of Shitty's grip and left to notify the council of this new information, since it seemed like everyone else was too busy with pie to do their jobs.

"It's a common misconception, actually," Jack heard Shitty start as he walked away, "But Jack's a totally normal sized wolf, wolves are just way fucking bigger than most people realize..."

**Author's Note:**

> This is my hastily scrawled love letter to Check, Please!, Lost Girl and every single Witch Bitty headcanon. Written on my phone in AO3 so I could finally get this out of my brain. If you catch typos, grammatical errors or heinous offenses to language, please let me know and I'll  
> do my best to correct them.
> 
> Will there be more? Maybe if I blackmail myself into writing a whole chapter in one sitting again?
> 
> (Title from Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf. I'm not sorry.)


End file.
